


A Flame Can Grow Small But Never Die

by WinglessCrows



Series: Through the Eyes of a Cook [17]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Post-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 20:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12464972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinglessCrows/pseuds/WinglessCrows
Summary: "It was only a matter of time before someone brought it up. The forbidden topic."Two years after the war, Luffy seems to have moved on, but he has yet to tell his crew anything about it.





	A Flame Can Grow Small But Never Die

It was only a matter of time before someone brought it up. The forbidden topic. Sanji didn't know who would do it. The one who first broke or someone who finally gathered enough courage? When it came to breaking down Sanji considered himself as a good candidate. There were days where he was standing in the kitchen watching the flames do their work and his mind would wander off. He would think of Ace, how they met and how he made them  _promise_ to take care of Luffy for him. He'd remember how they'd all tried so hard to fulfill that promise and how he and Zoro had tried giving their lives for his (though their promise to Ace had been far from their minds at the time. It was all about Luffy). He remembered Kuma. Kuma who almost killed Zoro, Kuma who tore them apart, Kuma who broke them to save them. He remembered his own self-pity when he was stuck on Momoiro Island and how the newspaper had set him straight. He remembered reading the words and not quite taking them in because  _this had to be a mistake._ And he remembered the realization, oh how well he remembered it. At first he had been furious, because anger could be dealt with by kicking anything in the near vicinity, but his anger wouldn't last for long. His aimless kicks could only do so much and he remembered drowning in tears and painful screams. He remembered his thoughts down to the exact words, because to this day he still blamed himself for the same thing.  _Why wasn't I there?_

Sanji knew the question was on the mind of every single strawhat (except for Luffy) and he knew it was slowly tearing them up from the inside, because they had yet to touch upon the subject. Luffy had briefly mention the war a couple of times, but never elaborating and never inviting any questions on the topic. But everything he said sent a dagger to their hearts.  _I befriended Hancock and she helped me._   _I almost died from poison. Jinbei was there for me when I had no one._

Another good candidate for just breaking down and begging Luffy to start talking would be Zoro, although Sanji half-expected Zoro to know more than anyone else. The thing about Zoro was just that Sanji knew how painful this ordeal was for himself, which just meant that it had to be at least ten times as hard on Zoro, because Zoro was the one Luffy relied on. If Luffy needed to talk, If Luffy needed to vent and if Luffy needed to break down, because no matter how strong you are, you cannot stay strong forever, Zoro was there. Sanji remembered when both Robin and Usopp had left the crew and Luffy had broken down to a state where Sanji could hardly recognize him. He was quiet, he ate less and his eyes barely had any light in them. But Zoro was there and with every word he spoke, Luffy seemed to get stronger.

Sanji also remembered the end of their two year separation. How happy they'd all been and how that happiness had come to a momentary stop, when they noticed the huge burn mark spread across Luffy's chest. There had been a two second silence and Usopp had carefully asked about it, to which Luffy just briefly touched it and said  _war._ And Zoro had hugged him. Sanji was sure this was the first time he had seen Zoro hug Luffy (or hug anyone for that matter), but he understood the action and it wasn't long before the crew were all huddled together in one big group hug, with Luffy safely planted between Zoro's arms... And that was the closest they'd ever been to talking about the war.

Robin could also fit the bill. She, more than anyone, knew what it was like to keep secrets, knew what it was like to keep your feelings bottled up inside and how it affected you. She cared for Luffy as intensely as a mother would and not being able to comfort him in his need was a pain visible in her eyes. But she also knew that there was no point in talking before you were ready and pushing too hard would only make matters worse. This knowledge was likely what kept her from asking about anything. However, Sanji figured, she might not be able to hold herself back for much longer. Lately, her gaze had been lingering more on Luffy, and his scar, and she initiated more conversations with him than usual, despite her reserved personality.

In the end, if they were all strong enough to not break under the pressure and pain, it would come down to whoever found the courage to just  _ask._ Nami could do it. She was good at asking the hard questions and she was as close to Luffy as any sister would be. Sanji had caught her trying to ask a few times, both during meals where they were all gathered and when Luffy was on deck and there were less people, but she always stopped herself and started another topic. It was clear from her voice and expression that she knew it had to be done at some point, and she, much like Sanji, had probably also figured out that it was better to have someone ask Luffy in a rational manner, rather than having someone completely break down.

Brook could do it too. There was a calmness about him that made everything seem a lot easier. There was kindness in his voice and strength in his bones. Sanji was actually surprised that he, unlike Nami, hadn't tried to ask Luffy yet, but Brook was also much more patient than Nami and he was probably waiting for the best time. Sanji wondered what and when that moment would be.

Franky and Chopper were both in some kind of grey-zone and he half suspected that as much as they wanted answer, they had both put their faith in other crew members. Franky was often seen lingering around Robin whenever she spoke to Luffy and Chopper could be seen more and more around the stupid swordsman. If Sanji had to put down any money, he'd probably bet on Zoro too. And he would have lost those money, because the answer really should have been obvious, because when Usopp suddenly asks Luffy, no one is surprised.

He is sitting at Luffy's left hand, because the right is reserved for Zoro, and he looks him straight in the eyes and asks: "Could you tell us about the war?"

And Luffy just smiles and says: "What do you wanna know?" Because it's all so simple and why did they ever think that Luffy wouldn't want to talk about it?

"Everything." Usopp starts, but knowing Luffy, he would need to be specific, "How are you feeling?"

"Feeling?" Luffy tilted his head slightly.

"... About Ace." Usopp never broke eye-contact, because when it came to Luffy, and confronting Luffy, he was the bravest of them all. And in this instance that immense bravery would have been visible if anyone would just have looked around, but no one did... except for Sanji. Where Luffy had kept his eyes on Usopp, because why look away when someone spoke to you, Usopp had done the same and never even glanced to the others. Everyone around them were wide-eyed and looked intensely at Luffy, making sure to not miss a single thing. There was an air of fear in the kitchen, not fear of Luffy nor his reaction to the mention of the forbidden topic, but fear of what they were about to find out. Fear that Luffy would finally say it, say that they had failed him. They were all trying to hold back gasps, outbursts or tears, some succeeding better than others, but despite this, it was almost completely silent in the room. Only the sound of the ocean could be heard in those few moments of silence and Sanji found it strangely comforting. Zoro who was now the closest to Luffy had gone from his usual slumped-over-the-table position to sitting straight, which should tell you how tense the situation was and Sanji caught him reaching for Luffy's hand only to retract it again. Sanji had the sudden urge to grab Luffy's hand himself.

"I'm fine," Luffy said, but when Usopp didn't back down, he continued, "I wasn't at first, because, to me, Ace was the strongest. I could never beat him no matter how hard I tried and when Sabo died, he promised me that he wouldn't ever die."  _Who was Sabo?_ "So I thought that I would never lose him, but then I did and I was so sad, but it's been two years and I'm over it, so there is no need for you to worry about me. I'm fine."

And wasn't Luffy convincing? Their Captain couldn't lie for shit, but even with that knowledge this seemed so truthful that it broke Sanji's heart, just a little, that they hadn't trusted him to be completely fine and that they hadn't trusted him enough to expect him to come to just one of them, if he needed to. And it broke Sanji's heart that Luffy was fine, because as much as wanted his Captain to be as happy as he could, they had done nothing to make that happen. They had done absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.

Luffy looked like he saw the end of the conversation and to be honest, Sanji saw it too. They had confirmed that Luffy was okay, and that was all that really mattered, but then Usopp looked at the crew and Sanji wasn't sure what he saw, but he looked back to Luffy and spoke again and this time what he said took everyone, including Luffy, by surprise. It had always been about Luffy and only Luffy, but Usopp changed that with just one sentence.

"You may be fine, but we are not."

Silence fell once again. Luffy's lips parted slightly as if he was about to say something, but couldn't find the words. His eyes had gone a bit bigger and he looked like he was trying to figure out why his nakama  _were not fine!_ And Usopp still kept his eyes solely on Luffy and it seemed like he managed to convey everything he couldn't put words on in that one gaze.

And as the realization hit Luffy he started to speak. Luffy wasn't one for stories about the past, he found them irrelevant as they had nothing to do with the present, but this time, his story had an influence on both their present and their future. And so he spoke. He spoke for hours and hours, letting them know all the details and the only one who ever moved during any of it, was Sanji as he made his way around with tea and coffee.

Sanji wasn't sure if Luffy was just a good story-teller, or if it was the events that were so powerful, but never had the crew laughed so much (his adventures on Amazon Lily had been hilarious, for the most part), never had the crew screamed so much (all his many encounters with powerful people, friend or foe, had been met with surprise) and never had the crew cried so much, because this truly was a tragic tale. Luffy had been through so much, overcome so many trials and hardships, only to fail in the end. And when the tale came to a close, Luffy knew just what he needed to say for his crew to finally be  _fine._

"Ace was dead, I saw nothing but darkness and then Jinbei came and asked me what I still had left... And I thought of you." Luffy looked at all of them, a sweet smile on his lips and no sense of sadness in his eyes. "I thought of you and the darkness around me seemed to just fade away, because even if you weren't there, you gave me strength I needed to carry on."

Sanji looked at Luffy and ignored the tears streaming endlessly from his eyes. A huge weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Luffy was fine... thanks to them.


End file.
